More Random Thoughts

It's been a few days since I posted here. I guess I took on the thought that if I couldn't say anything nice, not to say anything. I really am trying to be more positive, just the struggles in my/our life right now has pushed me to the limit a lot lately. Some days I have wondered what in the world we could have done to deserve the constant challenges we seem to get. Really, both Dan and I have had sever health problems over the past few years and continue to have them. Although I freely admit that I have my days, and a lot of them lately, that is a major part of my problem. For this reason, I have been trying to look at things in a different light lately. Instead of wondering why we are being punished, I have tried to see things in the respect that we are being tested to improve our strength. Although my true feelings are that I should be a body builder by now because of all of the strength testing, things are happening for some reason. Not sure what it is, but there is one. I still can't believe I actually said that, but I really am trying.



Anyway, in the last couple of days, I have finally been able to do something. I have done it before, and I guess that I should really be doing it all of the time, but that is leaving it all to God. Knowing that I/we have made mistakes and that we probably deserve some kind of strict talking to, but that we are pretty good people and deserve blessings as much as anyone else. This is not easy to do. I am, or have been, a very organized person, a perfectionist if you will, and I like to know the reasons why. So this is a challenge for me, only in the respect that I have to literally come out of my own way.



While I still have my moments of stress and anxiety about what the future holds, I am pretty calm and just trusting in God that he will guide us through. Some how we have always made it, bumped and bruised, but fine and we still manage to go on. I am glad to have the family and friends that we do. They help us more than they know. I just hope that they know we appreciate them.



OK, I think I am done venting for now. Hopefully I will have something more happy next time I post.



-Christy