Be Still My Soul

A friend posted this on her facebook status..."Be Still My Soul, the waves and winds still changing. His voice who ruled them while he dwelt below." An ending line of a verse of a hymn.

I can't state how much this line applies to me right now. I have to keep reminding myself to try and put it all in his hands. The first line of this hymn is..."Be Still My Soul, the Lord is on thy side; with patience bear, thy cross." I didn't state the entire line, but there is enough there to make my point. I am trying VERY hard to keep thinking positively and do what I'm supposed to so that mine and my family's lives are good. It gets really hard and I lose perspective a lot now. I'm glad that there are people who do a better job with that perspective and help me to as well.

In the last few weeks, there have been many trials and challenges. Ones that we had hoped and prayed we would never have to deal with.

We are facing the reality that Dan is likely to be laid off soon. It's not a sure thing yet, but a very likely happening. He has worked since he was 14 and never had even one day withough a job. We will be OK, Dan has done his homework and things shouldn't be too bad, but preparations are being made here. I am a worrywart, always have been and I try not to, but fear it's something I just am. I guess maybe this is the way in which he will be able to get a job doing something he really enjoys.

One of our daughters was hurt in a way which is very hard to get past. She is doing pretty well and trying to move on from it, but as a parent, I am having a really hard time not just wanting justice! It's hard to see people who ruin other peoples lives just seemingly get away with nothing but a stern warning and a slap on the hand. That said, I'm trying to put my trust in the Lord and the public authorities that they will do what needs to be done with this person and all of those around them that are either helping them or also being affected.

The ongoing struggle with trying to figure out how to help Kyler continues. He's a good kid with a huge heart. He would give the shirt off his back for just about anyone. He would do anything for anyone. He does a good job at work, and he has been busy, but has worried a lot about his peers in the church. He is simply misdirected. Dan and I have tried just about everything we know how to help him get some direction. Life with his sickness can't be easy. Add his age and the things that go with that to it and it's got to be very hard. I get very frustrated sometimes and I wish I could figure out how to better handle things with him. But having him learn how to deal with things better, I want more. Yesterday was a mission farewell for some one that he has known since he was 4. They haven't always been the best of friends, but he was absolutely distraught that many of his peers are leaving. He's happy for him and supportive of him going on a mission, but isn't sure how things are going to be now that he will be gone. I feel bad that Kyler feels so bad about this, but have tried to use it as a teaching tool. That he needs to focus on making himself better so he can use the example being set for him. He's a brilliant young man, we just hope he finally realizes this sometime soon.

I hope that everyone knows that I am really trying hard to remember who I am and realize that I do have "The Lord On My Side". I just get lost sometimes. The constant and sometimes multiple trials at once that have hit us the past few years sometimes seems to be too much to handle. I'm trying to learn and count on who and what I need to. I just want things to be happy again. It's been a long time. I love my husband and I love my kids. I just want to have the way things used to be return to my home. At least the loving happy part.

Thanks to all of you who read our blog.

~Christy