It All Went Up In Smoke...At Least That's How Last Week Felt

The past week in my life and the lives of my family was very interesting. It was, to say the least one of the most interesting and weird weeks I can remember. It was as though there was something "tragic" (OK, that's a little far but I couldn't think of another word) in every part of my life. There are a couple of things I cannot share that have been a huge stress on me, but let's just say that I am being made to have patience with a person that tests it at every turn. Here is a semi short synopsis of what happened...

This was last Tuesday, so 6 days ago. It was a pretty normal morning. I left work at this building on Tuesday morning at 6 AM like usual. I had training that I was supposed to go to at this building later that day. As we were leaving work, the facilities manager was downstairs waiting for the fire inspector to arrive to inspect the new addition to the Cafe. (Not anywhere near the cause of the fire, just a very ironic coincidence)The preliminary cause was heat tape that was applied to keep things from freezing and caught the ceiling on fire, right over my department. I had gone on with my day as usual, came home, made the family breakfast and went to bed, knowing I had to get up early for training. Megan, Lori and I decided we would go to this building (usually go to the corp bldg) for lunch and then go to the training as we all had to go. Well, about 11:30 as I was waking up, Lori called me and said "work is on fire!" I kind of laughed and said "what?"(The fire inspector was just there?) She said it was on the news and our building was on fire. I came out to look on the TV. We wondered what we were to do now. Were we supposed to still go to training? If so, where? It was a very weird feeling of loss and being lost. Would I have a job after this? Were all of my friends and colleagues OK? Basically it was a mini form of what I felt like on 9/11. I knew nothing about what was to come and if everyone was OK. About 30 minutes after this news, an email was sent from our dept. manager Jordan who said that everyone got out OK and that we were to still attend work and all trainings at the corp office. I was very relieved to know that everyone was OK and that my job was secure. I was extremely impressed at how the managers and exec's of the company took care of this situation. First they made sure every single employee was accounted for and safe and then sent them to a new place and went right back to work to make sure our customers were taken care of. This company prides itself on being one big team/family and often I have wondered how true that is, but this really showed just how much truth it is. Anyway, since last Tuesday, our team (graveyard) has been in 4 different places to work. I am grateful to the company for making sure we had a place to work. I feel like a gypsy or an orphan sort of, but it all goes with trying to get things in order after this fire. I think we are set for a while at least in a nice place at corp and all is well. They are saying 4-6 months until our building should be ready for us to go back to. I didn't lose anything important. Only thing I had there was my nameplate. I know of many who lost many important and special things. I have never been part of anything like this so I have tried to figure out how to feel. The best way I can explain my feelings is that I feel a sense of loss in that this building sort of felt like my home away from home. I spent at least 40 hours a week there. I feel grateful that it happened at a time when I wasn't there, but sad for my friends and colleagues that were. I feel sad and grateful to the firefighter who had a wall and a ceiling fall on him and had to be rescued and have surgery to repair his injuries. I feel grateful to the trainer who saw and understood first hand that we were all in our own states of shock. Who also helped evacuate the building and then turned around and did his best to train us on that day. I know that it all could have been much worse and I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve, but it's who I am and it has really affected me emotionally. All is well and I will get over it. 

All of that was Tuesday, Wednesday was fairly uneventful. Just working in a weird place, but it was nice. 

Thursday, I was checking skyward, because the term was ending and I was very concerned with some grades. There has been a lot of hard work put forth especially this year in regards to school and it didn't look good right then. I was so highly let down by some of this and was already dealing with the other stuff. Pretty much lost it on a couple of kids. I just know that they can do and are better than they are showing. After all of the work they have done it is just heartbreaking to me to see them not do their best, putting their goals at risk. Kyler is still waiting for news of if he passed his licensing test so he can go to South Carolina to work. This being up in the air is frustrating, but we just have to assume he did and are trying to get things prepared. Jake is devastated that he got a B+ which brought his GPA all the way down to 3.94. He has strived all year to get a 4.0 and it has just slipped out of his hands every term so far. He would have got it first term if he hadn't broke his heel and got an A- in PE. Still a little ticked at that teacher, but whatever. We are proud of him trying so hard to do well and setting high goals and working to meet them. I just hope he doesn't hit that wall everyone seems to hit around his age and stop working at it. Was in a different place working Thursday, still appreciate them taking care of us, but was not pleased with Thursday's accommodations, but it was somewhere. Not complaining. Thursday night at work brought some issues for me, but I can't really share them. Let's just say I had to walk away a couple of times in order to keep my cool. Too many people with too high of stress level last week trying to keep it together. 

Friday was probably one of the hardest days. The term ended, I knew things were not OK with that. As I was explaining my disappointment and how NOT OK this was, I received an email from Dan I had been dreading. The contents of that email also explain part of the stresses of the last 3 weeks and how it was yet another let down. Dan again interviewed with Clark County, NV for a position and even he was pretty sure he would get the job. We had gone to Las Vegas on the 2nd - 4th of March and were there dreaming of things and seeing areas and houses, etc. Just hoping something would appear for us. When we returned home, there was an email waiting for Dan to interview. We didn't tell anyone about it, at least a very few, so as to not ruffle feathers besides those who live in this house. Dan had to make another trip there alone the next weekend for test and interview. He came home very confident and we were pretty excited about the prospects. Last Friday came the email "although you were not chosen for this position, we enjoyed speaking with you." UGH!!! We have no idea why, we were pretty sure he had this. A very hard pill to swallow and another let down. Dan hasn't been really excited before, but this time was different and it was just really hard and remains hard to try to figure out how to make things happen. We are not happy here. Our kids, at least most of them, are not happy here. We are trying to find good jobs there and do good things. I can't take much more of the weather here. Also, I have discovered that the altitude plays a part in my migraines. The closer I get to sea level, the better my head feels. No, this is not psychological, it's a fact and yes, not being here would most likely help my mental state :-)  For the time being, I am at a good job that I liked so much I fought my way back to and Dan has a secure job working with many people he really likes. We will keep on going until something happens. Hopefully it's soon. Our family has struggled enough, it's time for some peace. I know this isn't what many think we should be doing, but we are making decisions together and doing what we feel to be the best for ourselves and our family. We would love to have some help and support. 

So there it is, I literally slept the entire weekend. Trying to keep things at a low roar. This is all just MOST of what happened last week. There is more I can't share and there is always the element that continues of so many people who feel we are problems in their lives. We continue to try and move on. Hoping soon we get to remember what enjoying life and having some peace feels like. 

Thanks to those who continue to read this and care about our family. We appreciate you. 

~Christy