Random Thoughts

So, I know I have something I want to write, but when I open up this program, it's gone. Hopefully my rambling won't bore you to death. I guess it's writers block or something.

Lately I have been having a really hard time not being depressed. I was doing pretty well and then one day I just woke up and was in a funk. Not sure what has caused this, but I'm blaming the weather for a major portion. The sun came out over the weekend and it was SO NICE! There just something about gray gloomy skies that brings me down.

I am down 32 pounds now. I know that this isn't something to pass off. That 32 pounds in 5 weeks is pretty good, but this has really bothered and I guess scared me quite a lot. After losing 25 pounds in one week, it seems that 7 pounds in 4 weeks isn't exactly successful. I worry that because I am such a unique person when it comes to my health, that this is how it's going to be for me. Having to work twice as hard as the norm to get the same result. I know this sounds like I'm being too hard on myself, but I really want this and it's not happening how I thought it was going to. I have even returned to going to the gym in the pool at least 2-3 times a week. I'm working on it, just having a hard time seeing the results. Dan and others keep reassuring me that they can see progress and I know they wouldn't lie to me, I just have my moments that I wonder if they are just being nice. On top of that, my neck and my leg have been giving me major problems lately. UGH!!

Dan and I continue to struggle trying to keep on top financially. We really do try, just seems as though there is always something on our heads to keeping us just underwater.

We have recently had more testing done with Kyler. He is really struggling with some classes at school. The poor guy is our oldest and we are learning as we go. We are never sure if these struggles are 16 year old boy issues or whether there are other problems. While we are very aware that some of it is 16 year old boy, we have now learned by testing that there is a much larger issue of a neurological nature than previously thought. I don't know how he gets through as well as he does. It's got to be hard. He has almost no short term memory. Where I thought he was just being ignorant, he really can't remember. Makes it hard on parents to figure out how to discipline and help him through. We keep plugging along, but it is very hard some times and most people don't understand, especially his peers. It's really hard to have to try and help people understand and many make snap judgements, even of our parenting skills with him. All we ask for is understanding and support in what we are trying to do. I have an understanding of how Kyler feels. I have had unexplainable issues and problems that people don't understand as well. I have in the past, and am now again at this point feeling somewhat on the outside of the proverbial group trying to figure out where I fit and belong. OK, enough about this, I am getting worked up now.

Then there is the situation with Megan. I am EXTREMELY disappointed with the Orem Police Department right now. They have taken a situation that was bad to begin with and not done a thing to help or protect our daughter. We realize that there is an order in which things have to be done, but we have been left to do everything ourselves and those who are supposed to be there to help us simply haven't. I am afraid this situation is going to be let go and then some one else is going to get hurt and hopefully not worse before anyone pays the correct amount of attention. This occurance with the little boy who was killed this past week has hit very close to home for me. It's all because some one didn't do their job and put that boy in a dangerous place. With that said, I'll stop talking about this now.

Dan has started a new hobby. A while back he got a new camera, mostly for doing his church calling as the Ward Historical Clerk and for the trek where he is the Trek Historian. Outside of church, he has found a way now to use the hobby he loves to maybe make a little bit of money. He is slowly building a portfolio by just doing free shoots with people who inquire. After his first one last Friday, he was hired by those people to shoot a wedding. This one will be a paid gig. Dan has been the photographer for almost all of the family/friend weddings in recent history and really does a very good job. Lets hope it is a lucrative hobby and he can make some cash doing what he loves.

Well, I guess this is a long enough novel. I have really been trying to not complain and be negative. I am just really having a hard time lately. There are more things going on that I can't post on here, but are equally as trying. I am trying to be the Christy you all used to know. Not sure where she has gone. Maybe she has simply gone away and can't come out again until things are less intense. I don't know. I would like to have her back as well. Thanks to all of you who love and support us.

Christy