Reflection

Today is the 3 year anniversary of the day my life changed forever. Things were pretty good for the most part. I had a few issues I was dealing with, but for the most part OK. Trying to attain a college degree, working a full-time job and making fairly decent money. Dan and I had just bought our house a year earlier. It was that time that everyone had told us we would eventually reach. A time of happiness, security, and feeling accomplishment. It wasn't to last like that I guess.

As I look back and see the past 3 years I can see where there has been some good things to go along with the not so good things. I have learned that people with disabilities are some of the hardest working people there are. They may not be able to do a lot of the "physical" work that society deems work, but for them it's just getting out of bed in the morning sometimes. A great deal of what disabled people go through is emotion. In dealing with my own disabilities, I have not always done a great job with the emotion part. It's hard. To go from a do it all type person to not being able to do much of anything is very hard emotionally. I have learned a lot in this area, and continue to learn. Coming to accept ones disabilities is a pretty complete life change. I am one who has fought to keep my credibility during 3 years of unknown diagnosis and many professionals and not so professionals thinking I was mentally ill and doing this for attention. I hope that this is finally cleared up as they have come up with a few diagnosis and that it has come to light that I have several of my proceeding family members who suffer from the same issue. Just knowing that I am not crazy helps a lot emotionally. I now just try and deal with the emotion of not being able to do many things that I should, and previously did, be able to do. It's hard, and all I ask is for understanding and care during this time and I keep attempting to adjust to the changes that have been put upon me.

I have learned a lot over the past few years. I have learned that I can push myself harder than I ever thought I could. I do have a few VERY good friends who I count on A LOT. I also gained new friends, with one in particular I feel I've known my whole life. We are very close and very much alike. (You know who you are) I just wish that she was geographically closer.

I would be remiss if I didn't thank Dan for the love and care shown me during this time. He has ridden this roller coaster with me the whole way through. His life and the lives of my children have also changed and they have had to adjust as well. He is my rock, my strength, my eternal companion. I thank him for loving me every day.

Well, I just needed to express something. Every year this date goes by and it is an emotional day for me. This year I have a little more hope than last and hope that this trend of yearly improvement will continue.

~Christy